What Goes Down Must Come Out!
“Everything looks great,” exclaimed my internist at my annual check up. “But there’s one more thing,” “What?” I wondered. “Well, now that you’re in your fifties you get an extra special gift.” I was...
View ArticleDarnit, that’s One Good, Dang Diner
“Hey Mom, I’m hungry, can we stop for something to eat?” inquired one of my offspring. “Sure,” I said, looking out the car window. “How ‘bout we go to that Dam Diner.” “TRACY!” yelled my husband....
View ArticleThe Sad, Sorry Tale of the Depot Man
“I’ll be right back,” said my husband as he headed for the door. “Where are you going?” I demanded. We were in the middle of moving some of our stuff out of storage and putting some other stuff back...
View ArticleA Letter to the Grammar Police
Dear Grammar Police, I wanted to thank you publicly for noticing a grammatical error in my recent column with regard to my use of the pronoun “I.” Apparently I had written, “the kids and I,” when I...
View ArticlePillow Talk
Every once in a while I get bitten by the redecorating bug and I feel compelled to refresh one of the rooms in the house. In the grand scheme of things, this is not as bad, as say, wanting to refresh...
View ArticleNo Phone on the Throne
I could hear the phone ringing from the bathroom. I have no psychic abilities and I wasn’t expecting a call, but I had absolutely no doubt who was calling. It was my husband. “Hey honey, it’s me,” I...
View ArticleThe Cream of the Crop
“Oh no!” I cried from the bathroom. “Honey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” My husband ran into the room, wondering, I’m sure, what kind of tragedy could have transpired with only me, the sink, and the...
View ArticleIf the Tankini Fits…
This year, I worked hard to drop a few pounds over the winter so that when the summer arrived, I wouldn’t have to face my annual swimwear terror attack. Honestly, I find shark-infested waters less...
View ArticleYou’ve Been Blocked
I’ve been blocked on Facebook… again. When I say, again, I don’t mean to make it sound like it’s something that happens all the time. As far as I know it’s only been two times. But even two times is a...
View ArticleAll Lined Up and Nowhere to Go
It was one of those days where everything was taking a ridiculously long time. There was a line at the drycleaners. A line at the supermarket. A line at the coffee shop. I was starting to think that...
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